Having boobs that are a size 36C is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, they’re fun to play with, can get you free drinks, and enable you to automatically be deemed sexy when wearing a tight shirt. As for the cons, you’re automatically deemed sexy when wearing a tight shirt. Let’s break it down a little.
Ever since I hit puberty at 11, my boobs have been a big part of my body. They’re not HUGE, but they’re also big enough to be the topic of MANY conversations. And my very small height only makes them more noticeable. Now I’m not gonna lie, I love them. They’re like little fidget toys that I can just jiggle when I’m bored. If I ever wanna get a guy’s attention, I just gotta pull my shirt down a smidgen and the job is done before I even started. I never have to wear push-up bras, or padded bras, and as a tween stuffing my bras wasn’t even an option unless I wanted to look like I had surgery done. They’re great! But in the past few years, I started noticing all the cons that my boobies bring along.
They have their annoying little quirks. Such as, running up and down stairs without a bra is a big no-no, unless I’m ready to bring on the pain. Necklaces get lost and unnoticed in that little abyss hidden by the cleavage. Finding bras that will support you AND cover your dinner-plate-sized areolas is a challenge. But the problems I’m about to get to are 10x more annoying.
No matter what I wear, my body is considered obscene.
Vulgar. Asking for it. Sultry.
Provocative. Slutty. Desperate.
Sexy. Attention-seeking. Mature.
And sometimes I don’t want to be sexy. Sometimes, I don’t want my body to attract attention, or get me drinks, or gain the focus of men.
I realized this in the past month, when I had a surge in interviews. I had to go to interviews for schools, jobs, babysitting gigs, and so on and so forth. Before these interviews took place, I spent COUNTLESS hours trying on clothes to find an appropriate outfit. It’s irritating, because I’ll see my sister wear cute, low cut dresses, or plunging v-lines, or off the shoulder tops and it’s all so cute! So darn cute! I want to wear it, lemme try it on! But no, oh no. Oh my god, my boobs are OUT. This is so inappropriate. How come it doesn’t look like this on you? Well fuck, it was a cute outfit. I guess I won’t wear it. And on her, it all looks ok because there’s no extra boob tryna peep out! My sister and other less-voluptuous girls probably don’t have the same problems as us – ahem- busty ladies.
I remember my mother telling me that it’s ok when my friend wore shorts because her legs are skinny, but my thighs are too thick. I remember being told that I needed to wear longer shirts after I grew an ass which jiggled when I walked. Well WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT JUST LET ME JIGGLE IN FUCKING PEACE PLEASE.
Eventually I came to the conclusion that I WILL ALWAYS BE INAPPROPRIATE. Literally. I can avoid low cut tops, sure, but it’s like everything else is begging to cling as tight as it can to my breasts, making them oh so prominent. And I have a bit of an hourglass figure, meaning anything even remotely tight makes people think I’m desperate, horny, or begging for attention.
“Why does she have to show off her body like that?”
So I turn my focus towards lose shirts, flowy ones. I’ve also realized that when wearing loose shirts, my boobs make ‘em stick out further from my body, causing me to look so chunky and fat. Which there’s nothing wrong with, I just don’t feel confident that way. And not to mention, there can be absolutely NO bending over in loose shirts!!! My tits would be on display like fucking thick cow utters!!! So, I must resort to something high neck and secure, yet loose around my body, which suggests that I have no boobs whatsoever. Solution?
Maybe I’ll pass.
I guess my whole point of this post is to say that my body is the way it is, and it’s only seen as obscene because people are sexualizing it. And I’d like that to stop. I’m tired of trying to cover them up 100% all the time because they’re THERE and probably not going away anytime soon. Curvy girls are seen as so much more inappropriate than others and it’s fucking annoying. Let the big asses squeeze into a pair of shorts and let our thick thighs jiggle as we walk, let our boobs bounce as we strut and let our crop tops cling tightly to our skin, and please. Let. Us. Live.
I hope all my big boobed friends out there relate to this post, because I know I can’t be the only one. Please let me know in the comments if you did!